Earthbound concerns of an ascendant adult

Jonathan Ames on Tony Soprano

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As part of a Salon article asking various writers to predict the end of THE SOPRANOS, my guy Jonathan Ames has written up his conception of the end:

[E]verything is coming undone for Tony and all the characters are being killed off. I was told by a friend that Tony killed Christopher by holding his nostrils together, but I wasn’t shocked to learn this. I’ve never liked Tony. I once met Steve Buscemi on the subway (we both live in Brooklyn) and he was very friendly, and then in a hotel room I caught the episode where Tony shot Steve and this upset me. Another time, I was invited to a lunch on the roof of New York’s SoHo House, and James Gandolfini was there, poolside, in just a bathing suit, looking very menacing, and I had this odd compulsion to call the police.

Anyway, I think everyone close to Tony is going to get whacked. Carmela will die in his arms; his children will get killed. Tony will run to his psychiatrist, Dr. Melfi, having nowhere else to go.

And they will finally make love. The transference will be complete. There’ll be a shot of Tony on top of her, his frightening and enormous back covering her. Then a masked hit man will come into her bedroom and shoot Tony, killing him, and he’ll die on and in Dr. Melfi.

The gunman will look at her, decide to spare her, and leave. There will be a final shot of her trying, futilely, to get out from under Tony, as his lifeless eyes stare ahead darkly, seeing nothing.

Brilliant, in my opinion, though it definitely won’t happen—cuz Melfi shut the door on Tony GODFATHER-style last episode, and that’s that. So would Tony’s body smother Melfi’s, or would she escape?

Written by patiomensch

June 8, 2007 at 1:37 pm

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