PATRICK STEPHENSON

Earthbound concerns of an ascendant adult

Favorite Films of 2007

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Notice that, in this post’s headline, I use “Favorite” instead of “Best.” Once, when I wrote a “Best Films of 200-” for the school paper in Rochester, this home-schooled, full-of-himself jackass attacked my “Best” usage, as though I were claiming my favorite films of 200- were objectively and unquestionably the best of the year. “Where’s Pirates of the Caribbean?!” he said.

I’m going to preempt people like him (morons) and say, “No, these weren’t the best films of 2007, but they surely were my favorites…and by the way, my filmic/cinematic tastes are superior to yours, especially if you’d list Pirates of the Caribbean, to which listing and film I say, ‘ugh!’ You, sir, are tasteless.” That’d show him, the dick.

Anyway, ex-persona, here’s the list.

1. No Country for Old Men: “You’ve got a better chance of seeing God than seeing NCFOM with me,” said my gf. Because we’re both atheists, that’s a meaningful statement, so I went alone. And boy, am I glad I did. Masterful in every way. Pure cinema.
2. The Darjeeling Limited
3. Into the Wild
4. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix
5. Waitress
6. Rescue Dawn
7. Grindhouse
8. 300
9. Superbad/Knocked Up
10. Sicko

Runner Up: Michael Clayton
Contenders As Yet Unseen: The Diving Bell & The Butterfly, Juno (written by former Fallon employee, and one-time Minnesotan, Diablo Cody!), Sweeney Todd, and There Will Be Blood.

THE WORST (I’M UNWILLING TO USE ‘LEAST FAVORITE’)

Worst-wise, this was the year of the dirge. I sat through a surprisingly large number of movies that were torturous and that I wanted to end, more this year than any year previous. Why remain seated? Innumerable explanations: I want my money’s worth, the movie might at some point get good, I believe (usually mistakenly) that the person beside me is enjoying him/herself and I don’t want to spoil his/her fun, etc.

Here, then, is that list:

1. Halloween: Pain among the long-haired metal fans at a midnight screening. Pain as I watched my girlfriend cringe beside me. Pain as I waited for the movie to end, pained from boredom. Rob Zombie’s obviously misunderstood what decades of effective horror movies have taught us. It’s the suspense. It’s what you can’t see. This is a bludgeoning. It’s no fun at all. I felt punished, as though my desire for good time at a horror film had disgusted someone (last name: Zombie) and he wanted to ensure I knew my desire was abhorrent. Endless death. No character development, no build-up. Nothing.
2. 28 Weeks Later
3. The Golden Compass
4. Across the Universe: Paul McCartney reportedly loved this. Senility?
5. The Hills Have Eyes 2
6. Transformers: Perfectly encapsulates what is wrong with us, as a country and a culture, RIGHT NOW.
7. Spider-man 3: Embarrassing. Can Toby McGuire’s career survive “Dig THIS”?

Obvs, that’s not a full list, but can you blame me? Who would see obvious “Worst” contenders like Norbit and Alvin & the Chipmunks? Bunches of people, as the Chipmunks gross attests, but not me. I expected to like (or at least not-hate) most of the films above, Transformers excepted.

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Written by patiomensch

December 20, 2007 at 1:14 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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